Helping Your Adult Children Cope With Your Divorce

 Posted on February 22, 2018 in Divorce

When parents of minor children decide to divorce, they will often put a great deal of thought into how the end of their marriage will affect their children and do everything they can to ease children’s transition into a new situation in which they live in two separate households. However, parents should realize that their divorce can also make a big difference in the lives of their adult children. Even though parental responsibility, parenting time, and child support may not be an issue for parents of children who have moved out of their childhood home and begun to support themselves, it is still important to understand how divorce affects adult children.

Protecting Adult Children of Divorce

After their parents’ divorce, adults are often reluctant to make commitments in their own relationships, or they may stay in a bad relationship in hopes that they can avoid repeating their parents’ mistakes. If you are the parent of adult children, you can help them deal with your divorce by following these tips:

• Understand how your divorce affects them - You may believe that because your children are no longer living at home, your divorce will not make much of a difference in their lives. However, they will likely have a strong emotional reaction to the end of your relationship, and they may struggle to adjust to the situation, especially when determining how to involve both parents in activities, events, and holidays. Understand that they will need time to come to terms with your divorce and get used to this new reality.

• Keep them out of conflict - Since your adult children are emotionally mature, you may wish to confide in them, discuss the reasons your marriage ended, or lean on them for support. However, it is not fair to ask them to take sides or expect them to provide you with emotional support. Avoid putting them in the middle of your divorce disputes or sharing intimate details about your relationship.

• Stay in touch - While you should give your children space to deal with your divorce in their own way, be sure to remain in contact with them, letting them know what is going on in your life and checking in to see how you can help them. Make sure they know that the end of your marriage will not mean the end of your ongoing relationship with them.

• Encourage them to get counseling - Speaking with a therapist is a great way for anyone to work through their emotional issues, and doing so can help your children come to terms with your divorce and work on their own relationships. If everyone agrees, you may wish to have some family therapy sessions, which can help you, your ex-spouse, and your children work on your relationships with each other going forward.

Contact a Palatine Divorce Lawyer

Whether your children are minors or adults, the attorneys at A. Traub & Associates can work with you to understand and address the legal issues that must be resolved in your divorce while advocating for your rights and interests throughout the legal process. Contact a Schaumburg divorce attorney at 630-426-0196 to schedule an initial consultation.

Sources:

http://www.divorcemag.com/blog/advice-for-parents-of-adult-children-of-divorce

https://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/4-unique-ways-divorce-affects-adult-children-dg/