Parenting Mistakes to Avoid During Divorce

 Posted on March 28, 2018 in Divorce

When parents decide to divorce, both they and their children may have difficulty adjusting to the major changes they will be experiencing in their lives. Some growing pains are inevitable as children become accustomed to dividing their time between two separate homes. However, parents can work to provide a good environment for their children by avoiding the following mistakes:

• Involving children in conflict - Even though parents will likely not get along very well during divorce, it is important to avoid arguing in front of children or exposing them to disagreements. This can be very damaging to children, so parents should work to resolve their disputes when children are not present.
• Inconsistency - Parents should work to maintain consistent rules and schedules at both their houses, which will provide children with a sense of security and help them avoid feeling anxious about what to expect. 
• Competition - Parents should avoid trying to win their children’s affection by overindulging them or giving them everything they ask for. It is also important for a parent to avoid speaking negatively about the other parent or blaming the other parent for the divorce.
• Sending messages - Parents should communicate with each other directly rather than sending messages through their children. Making children act as messengers can put them in the middle of conflict and cause them anxiety.
• Spying - While a parent may be tempted to ask children about their former spouse’s emotional state, the condition of their home, or their dating activities, it is important to avoid doing so, since this can place a great deal of stress on children.
• Forcing children to choose - Children should never be asked to make decisions about where they should live or choose sides in parental conflicts. This places children in a difficult position, and it can lead to a great deal of emotional difficulty for everyone involved. Parents should work together to make decisions or reach compromises without involving their children.

Contact a Palatine Divorce Attorney

During divorce, it is important to put children’s best interests first, and both parents should work together to resolve their disagreements in a way that creates a good foundation for an ongoing co-parenting relationship. At A. Traub & Associates, we can work with you to resolve your divorce disputes through negotiation or mediation, and if necessary, we will advocate for your parental rights in court. Contact a Rolling Meadows divorce lawyer at 630-426-0196 to schedule an initial consultation.

Sources:

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/hanif-virani/5-common-post-divorce-parenting-mistakes_b_9267426.html

https://www.verywellfamily.com/parenting-mistakes-after-divorce-4084363

https://www.ourfamilywizard.com/blog/parenting-mistakes-after-divorce