Tips for Successful Co-Parenting After an Illinois Divorce

 Posted on August 23, 2019 in Divorce

Before a divorce, most parents care for their children together under one roof. Once a divorce is finalized, parents will need to continue providing the same level of care for children while living in separate households. This can be a difficult adjustment for parents, especially if there is bad blood between them. The goal for successful co-parenting is for a child to be minimally affected by a divorce, and a parenting plan can help achieve that. 

What Is a Parenting Plan?

In Illinois, when adults with children get divorced, how the child is taken care of after the split is determined by a parenting plan. This plan is a court order signed by a judge, to which both parents agree. The parenting plan dictates who has parental responsibilities for the child (custody), as well as parenting time with the child (visitation). For example, a parenting plan may state that the child will spend the weekdays with one parent, and the weekends with the other. No matter how it is organized, a judge will only sign off on the plan if it is believed to be in the best interests of the child. 

Tips for Making a Parenting Plan Work

During and after your divorce, you will need to develop a new relationship with your ex-spouse. Even if you have created the perfect parenting plan, it is up to the two of you to follow it and communicate with each other in the event something needs to be changed. When learning to co-parent, it is important to do your best to put aside any hard feelings and avoid sharing them with your child. You and your ex may not be best friends after your divorce, but no matter the relationship, your child should be put first. Personal feelings about the other parent should not be shared with your child. Your child loves both parents, and speaking negatively about your ex to them could be hurtful. In addition, do not use your child as a middleman between yourself and your ex. Managing the emotional issues surrounding your divorce can be challenging on your own, so it is a good idea to share your feelings or frustrations with a therapist or a friend.

You may find it helpful to treat co-parenting like a business transaction. Having this mindset will improve your relationship with your ex-spouse, and it can also help you make sure you are meeting your child's needs. Good communication will prevent any bumps in the road when raising a child in separate households. Your parenting plan will typically address day-to-day routines, but sometimes plans may change, or special occasions may come up. Make sure anything changes to parenting time schedules are okay with the other parent. When it comes to co-parenting, it is much better to ask for permission first than to ask for forgiveness later. 

Contact a Schaumburg Parenting Plan Lawyer

The end of a marriage can be especially difficult for a child. Co-parenting starts with creating a parenting plan that is in the best interests of your child. If you are unsure of where to start, or if your spouse is not cooperating, contact an experienced Rolling Meadows divorce and family law attorney to assist during your divorce. At A. Traub & Associates we will work with you throughout the divorce process to help you achieve the best possible resolution. Call our office today at 630-426-0196 to schedule an initial consultation.

Sources:

https://www.helpguide.org/articles/parenting-family/co-parenting-tips-for-divorced-parents.htm

http://www.ilga.gov/legislation/ilcs/fulltext.asp?DocName=075000050K602.10